One of the key reasons why people are not experiencing wellness at work is because of interpersonal dynamics. Too often we get upset because of what someone else chooses to do or not to do. In reality, they have a right to make choices and there is a natural consequence to every choice. A client of mine is going through a rough time because her colleague is the bosses pet and gets special favours. According to her, he is getting the things she should be getting; like consideration to take a day off when her spouse had an important event to attend and asked her to accompany him. She claimed that her co-worker gets to go home early, gets special consideration for longer breaks and also gets to take time off if and when needed. She is choosing to spend a lot of time reflecting on what he is getting versus what she is getting.
When I asked her if she was prepared to do what he is doing for the bosses to receive the special favours she said she should not have to. I am by no means condoning what is going on in this workplace as all employees have a right to fair and equitable treatment at work. What I’m sharing is one perspective of mindset. The reality is that this employee is doing something that my client finds repulsive or would rather not do, which may very likely be the reason why he is being perceived as getting the favours he is receiving. My client had come to realize that this person was doing his job the way it worked for him and she was choosing to conduct herself in a way that pleases her, yet she is looking over at what he receives and compares it with what she perceives she isn’t getting.
Life offers a consequence for every action and sometimes we need to carefully weigh our upsets and complaints and not be upset about things that are really important to us. In my work with my client we are examining ways for her to get the favours she wants without doing what her colleague is doing. She is now examining the cost of what she wants against what she thinks she wanted.
What’s getting in your way of happiness and wellness right now? Take some time to think about what you really want and what you are willing to do to get it.
To your wellness,
Joyce Odidison, MA, PCC
Joyce Odidison is a Conflict Analyst, Coach and Workplace Wellness Improvement Specialist who works with organization to improve interpersonal and personal wellness at work. Contact Joyce to learn how your workplace can access the corporate workplace membership program today. www.interpersonalwellness.com
Interpersonal Wellness 