Interdependence – Interpersonal Wellness Principle # 6

 

What does it mean to be interdependent?  Do you sometimes equate interdependence to being weak and dependent? The sixth principle of Interpersonal Wellness is interdependence.  We are nothing if not interdependent.  Every life transaction requires us to rely on someone else to participate. According to the dictionary – Interdependence is being mutually and physically responsible to sharing a common set of principles with others. Research shows that we are most happy when we are in an interdependent relationship. This means that we are in intimate or social relationships with mutual responsibility and in which we share common values. This does not mean that we helpless but rather that based on our shared common values, we have evaluated and decided to let ourself be mutually vulnerable. To be interdependent is to be human. It is very different from being co-dependent. Co-dependency is when two or more dependent people rely on and react to each other in a negative, dysfunctional or psychological way.

On the contrary it takes an independent person who is secure in himself and his values to be in an interdependent relationship. Interdependence is a functional aspect of socialization and social beings. There is little that we can do without sharing with others. Interdependence occurs when the sharing is mutual or reciprocated. Since so much of what we do and who we are as humans is subject to others for success. It is therefore very important for us to develop a healthy sense of our personal impact on others and on the universe. Without this we will become cruel, discriminating, unkind, disrespectful and intolerable. Awareness and observance of our interdependence will help us to be accepting of others and their diverse ways. It will make us less likely to manipulate and coerce others. It will galvanize us to do something to help those in need and instil in us social consciousness with which to care for our environment and the diversity that makes up our world.

I urge you to consider the level of interdependence in your relationships in 2011 as I believe it is the foundation of your being able to reach your life success goals. Don’t stay in a relationship that is co-dependent or that manipulative. Seek the highest level of interdependence and remember the Golden Rule this year. Share with us how you intend to heighten your interdependence in 2011.

Happy New Year

Joyce Odidison

 

Interpersonal Wellness Principle #5 – Gain Personal Growth in 2011

Principle five of our Interpersonal Wellness series is Personal Growth. So how much did you grow in 2010? Are you open to more growth in 2011? In our world, things that fail to grow die. Newborns are measured, weighed and examined to ensure that they are growing. We expect and want our children to grow, yet few of us give thought to growing daily. So where are you on the growth indicator? On a scale of one to ten where would you place yourself? I hope you are not at a 10 because that would mean your time here is ended. I really don’t mind living my whole life at a seven, always looking for the next learning and growth opportunity. What about you?

We need to continue growing in all areas of our lives. We should take care to ensure that we are developing all the dimensions of our lives, in order for us to experience the best of ourself, and be able to share our best self with others.

Do a temperature check on yourself to see if you are making a conscious effort to grow in your spiritual, social, emotional, intellectual, environmental, financial and physical realms. If not, then make a list of the areas where you think you would need to grow immediately, and identify those areas that need a tune-up and those areas you should acknowledge yourself for. Everyone have the ability to grow and most of us have areas we are naturally good at.

Take a look at the areas you want to work on immediately, write down what it would feel like to reach your required growth level in that area. Ask yourself, who might be a help or resource for you to improve this area of your life? What would you like to do better and who would champion you in this quest? It may be a good idea to work on one or two growth areas at a time. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in one day. That city took centuries to reach completion, so give yourself a break and set a realistic time frame for achieving your growth goal.

Research has shown that we need to keep growing intellectually and otherwise for us to keep young and alert. It is important that we learn new things, acquire new knowledge, solve new life problems and be reliable and accountable to those in our social network. Without personal growth our minds become stagnant and we become incapable of making good decisions, or think critically about life. Personal growth requires us to gain new knowledge, set goals for ourselves, engage in personal reflection, manage our time and resources well and take intelligent life risks in order to harness the power of our intellectual and life capacity.

We all need to do this as we face the end of 2010, except of course you no longer want to grow and are instead prepared to embark on the slow process of death. If you choose life then consider joining the winning team and team up with a Life coach to help you reach your growth goals in 2011.

I would like to wish you and yours a wonderful, safe, fun filled, loving holiday season and much growth in 2011. Let me know if our articles helped you in 2011.

Joyce

Your Interpersonal Wellness Coach