Interpersonal Wellness Principle #4

Interpersonal Wellness principle number four is Competency – competencies are skills and abilities acquired through observation, practice, coaching and feedback. No one is born with the necessary skills and competencies to manoeuvre all of life’s challenges. Part of being social beings is that we learn most of what we know by imitation. The same is true for interpersonal skills and for job skills and competencies. There are times however, when we put far too much pressure on ourself and judge those we work with very harshly because they are not competent in a particular skill area. It is important to remember that we are all different and bring different skills to the workplace. We each bring a unique gift to the universe. Learning to respect each other and valuing each other’s strength is far more productive than competing, complaining or criticizing each other. Failure to respect this principle will result in a very unproductive work environment and will negatively impact your occupational wellness.

There are many ways in which one can develop competencies. The first step is to acknowledge the need for improvement. Once this is done the various means include, training and development, observing others, reading, reflection, practicing a skill, and of course by working with a coach. Research has show that one accelerates this process when working with a coach. Our Interpersonal Wellness coaching approach is uniquely geared towards the development of interpersonal skills for relationship and life success.

What competencies do you need to acquire? Are you up to snuff?

Remembrance Day

Isn’t it surprising that even today, we as a human race still view as the answer? We have not made peace with the fact that to make war with the other is to make war with ourselves.

I think it is important to remember the sacrifices of the veterans and the lives lost at war over the centuries, and even today. I would also like to challenge my readers to go one step further and remember – by looking at your life and where you may be waging war with someone. Isn’t time you declared peace?

The appreciation and preservation of life is our ultimate calling of a society. Remembrance Day is a time to think of our purpose here on this planet. Peace is often expressed as a noun in our society. Isn’t peace the act of being not at war? Does this exclude our personal wars and vendettas? Shouldn’t we all be actively working for peace?

Could the act of being in peace be that we begin to see ourselves as one race of people, brothers and sisters, children of the universe? It is no accident that we look, speak, act, sound and often think differently. How would we grow if we were all the same? Who would challenge us to be our best self and challenge our ideas and thinking about our vast universe?

Social Science researchers have found that it is much easier to like and love others who look, sound and think like we do. There is recognition, understanding, a strong connection and ease of interaction in those interactions. At the same time we experience the opposite when interacting with those who are different. In those relationships we need to look harder, dismiss stereotypes; make an effort to learn about them, try to understand their style, show interest, stifle our judgments, and give consideration to their views and sometimes, even change our own beliefs, perceptions and actions.

In other words we grow when we connect with others who are different or outside our circle. It’s a wonderful, educational experience to be part of a diverse universe. Let us also remember that today.

What about you? What are you remembering today?

Interpersonal Wellness Principle # Three

The third principle of Interpersonal Wellness is Self-Awareness. When we look back at the first two principles – number one is balance and number two being Responsible communication, it is no wonder that self-awareness is principle number three. Common sense dictates that we need to have self-awareness in order to maintain our balance and to take steps to ensure our communication is conducted in a respectful way.

One of my favourite quotes is the following by Lao Tzu: “He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened“. Self-awareness is to know your strengths, triggers, vices, fears, disillusionments and your doubts. It is also to know what makes you happy and to have the confidence and self love to know when your cup is full. It is having the capacity to pursue peaceful times and a respite from your life stresses and irritations. It is to listen well to the other person and ask questions, instead of arguing your point. It is asking to defer a conversation for a more favourable time, so that you can consider the other person’s points of view instead of ignoring them or yelling at them. It is also to be aware of yourself and your impact on others. Have you ever asked yourself, what impact am I having on this person? What impact do I want to have and how do I want to be experienced by others? Being self-aware in the workplace is a very important factor. Those who are aware of themselves are better at being aware of others and they tend to be able to have a more positive impact on their relationships. I would like to hear from you. Is there someone at work whom you would like to be a bit more self-aware? Might you be the one that your co-workers wonder if you would be more self-aware? Remember, self-awareness will lead to Interpersonal Wellness at work. Here are five questions you could ask yourself to help improve your self-awareness:

1. What impact am I having?
   
2. What do my words and actions relay?
   
3. Whom have I acted towards in a manner that was inconsiderate and discourteous?
   
4. How must I act to show concern, caring and presence?
   
5. What actions if mine today reflected my life values?
   

To Your Wellness

Joyce Odidison, Your Connections Coach