Keeping the Peace

‘Tis the Season to…

Spread Joy and to keep the Peace

 

I want to take you on a “Journey with Joyce” on keeping the peace

Are you spreading joy and peace this Christmas? Did you think of forgiving someone who wronged you this past year? What about inviting that annoying family member over for tea, or dare I say, join your Christmas dinner gathering?

It’s amazing that this is considered the time to be merry and to spread the joy of Christmas.  A time to remember that we have been sent here to create joy for each other and that Jesus came and died to bring peace to mankind.  All this joy and peace seem to be forgotten when we jostle each other in the grocery line or when we cut someone off because we think they are wasting our precious time.  

I must say that it does get tiring keeping the peace when we focus on the wrong thing. We need to have a purpose and some values that we live by to measure our decisions and actions by. I think most families over the holidays face conflicts and the host or hostess will have to make decisions to accommodate disgruntled or disputing family members or those that are not getting along. I too have had to make such a decision. Should I invite one or the other? Who will be upset and how to sooth feelings and encourage peace and wellness among all? Let’s look at a plan of action to keep us sane over the busy holiday season. Below is a check list of steps that you can easily remember and follow, trust me it has been working for me:

1. Align with a family member to come to your rescue if you become the target of insensitive comments
   
2. Practice in front of your bathroom mirror some tactful and respectful responses to things you are likely to experience, See! you can live through it
   
3. Create a cheat sheet of 5 easy statements to keep in your purse or wallet to be consulted before you make an angry retort or comment
   
4. Ladies replace your lipstick first, and Guys examine your wallet before you make scolding, belittling or scathing comments, replies or make a complaint
   
5. Take time to think about your comments and responses.
   
6. If you need time to calm down, it is okay to go to the bathroom or high to someone else. Oh bother! I didn’t say hi to Jack”. Please excuse me.
   

Remember, if you set an intention to preserve your wellness, the universe will align to make that happen. Too often, we leave this to chance and we get into trouble because we failed to plan for success. Guess what, when you focus on relationship wellness, then those who engage with you will find themselves treating you the way you want to be treated and everyone goes home happy.

It is also your right to choose not to engage in negative, inflammatory and demeaning dialogue. You can do so by saying that you have nothing to add or you can choose to remove yourself from the person. It is good to have a strategy in mind or at least a way out, so it’s best to think and plan ahead for dealing with pesky questions from Uncle Tom or complaints by aunt Beth. The more difficulties you’ve had in the past, the more important it is to practice some scenarios through and plan on how to respond.

I wish you peace and wellness this holiday season.

Joyce

Journey of Inspiration with Joyce

Welcome to a Journey with Joyce

Our journey this week will focus on Inspiration

This week, I had the opportunity to read a coaching book called: The Body Fat Solution, by Tom Venuto. Tom refers to himself as a fitness coach. His fat burning solution program is one of those well advertised programs on the internet. Tom has a blog and several websites to promote his fat burning programs. I must confess that I had not heard of Tom before coming across his book at elibraries.com. What I liked about Tom’s book is that it was audio mp3 and it needed no conversion to play on my HTC smart phone. Actually, when I started listening to the book it seemed quite technical and I thought, oh bother, another boring book. I thought I would skip the first chapter and tried the second chapter. I am glad I stuck with it because I soon realized that Tom was using many well known coaching strategies to equip the reader with information that was awareness rising and motivating. It soon became apparent that he was establishing a coaching relationship with the reader. I have listened to the book and would highly recommend Tom’s book as a resource for anyone who wants to investigate some of the myths about diet, calories, foods and exercising. I very much enjoyed his fresh, open and reality check about what causes fat. He provides some proven strategies to retrain the mind. I especially like the book because Tom incorporates good coaching strategies. He discusses life realities, poor eating habits, overcoming roadblocks, changing limiting beliefs, setting personal goals, planning, as well as exploring options and alternatives. You can Google Tom or read his book for yourself.

I must confess that after listening to Tom’s book, I have a new attitude about how much fat I am comfortable with on my body. As a result, I have set a goal to lose 10lbs of body fat and keep it off, over the next year. I am also committed to building and maintaining muscle mass as this is such a vital part of fitness.

Reflections

We can use weight management or any other challenges in our life to hold us back from attaining our goals. Is there a limiting belief that is holding you back from achieving a weight goal or other life goal? Is there something you want to accomplish in 2012?

Coaching Questions

1. Is there something that you can do in the next seven days to help you reframe a limiting belief that’s preventing you from achieving your goals?
   
2. What personal challenge do you want to overcome?
   
3. What will it look like when you have achieved your goal?
   
4. Is there someone you can speak to about a belief or road block that is holding you back?
   

   
    

What is Coaching About?

There is no doubt that coaching gets a lot more attention and exposure in 2012 that it did in the last decade. I have also noticed that the meaning of coaching is varied and that coaching is now being applied to many aspects of life. In the last decade, we have seen the development of life coaching and host of other coaching specializations. One can now get a coach for shopping, cooking and a coach for weight loss, among other things.

With so many varied specializations of coaching, it is not hard for one to lose the essence or the true meaning of coaching. I like John Whitmore’s description of coaching, as being a process of equipping people with skills, knowledge, tools and opportunities. The coach must see the client in terms of their potential and not their past actions. The coach must believe that the client has the potential to gain new awareness, develop new skills, set goals and take actions to follow through. This means that the coach should refuse to coach the client, if it becomes evident that the client is not able to become self-aware, acknowledge, set goals and take action to towards the stated goals.

Coaching should always remain a client centered process that is geared towards the goals, needs and interest of the client while in the coaching process. At no time should the coaching process become combative or stray from the client interests. Even when the coach presents stories or metaphors they should closely relate to the client’s needs and only be used to help the client gain awareness, focus or see new opportunities for improving their life.

Is there an issue(s) you are struggling with? Are you seeking a change, facing a change or need to learn about yourself? Do you want to be part of a process that is all about you becoming equipped with the tools, skills, knowledge and opportunities that will make your life better? Don’t let 2012 find you in a rut, call a coach today and begin the process of discovery and growth that comes with coaching. As the saying goes, “you are richer than you think”.

To Your Success and Wellness