‘Tis the Season to…
Spread Joy and to keep the Peace
I want to take you on a “Journey with Joyce” on keeping the peace
Are you spreading joy and peace this Christmas? Did you think of forgiving someone who wronged you this past year? What about inviting that annoying family member over for tea, or dare I say, join your Christmas dinner gathering?
It’s amazing that this is considered the time to be merry and to spread the joy of Christmas. A time to remember that we have been sent here to create joy for each other and that Jesus came and died to bring peace to mankind. All this joy and peace seem to be forgotten when we jostle each other in the grocery line or when we cut someone off because we think they are wasting our precious time.
I must say that it does get tiring keeping the peace when we focus on the wrong thing. We need to have a purpose and some values that we live by to measure our decisions and actions by. I think most families over the holidays face conflicts and the host or hostess will have to make decisions to accommodate disgruntled or disputing family members or those that are not getting along. I too have had to make such a decision. Should I invite one or the other? Who will be upset and how to sooth feelings and encourage peace and wellness among all? Let’s look at a plan of action to keep us sane over the busy holiday season. Below is a check list of steps that you can easily remember and follow, trust me it has been working for me:
- Align with a family member to come to your rescue if you become the target of insensitive comments
- Practice in front of your bathroom mirror some tactful and respectful responses to things you are likely to experience, See! you can live through it
- Create a cheat sheet of 5 easy statements to keep in your purse or wallet to be consulted before you make an angry retort or comment
- Ladies replace your lipstick first, and Guys examine your wallet before you make scolding, belittling or scathing comments, replies or make a complaint
- Take time to think about your comments and responses.
- If you need time to calm down, it is okay to go to the bathroom or high to someone else. Oh bother! I didn’t say hi to Jack”. Please excuse me.
Remember, if you set an intention to preserve your wellness, the universe will align to make that happen. Too often, we leave this to chance and we get into trouble because we failed to plan for success. Guess what, when you focus on relationship wellness, then those who engage with you will find themselves treating you the way you want to be treated and everyone goes home happy.
It is also your right to choose not to engage in negative, inflammatory and demeaning dialogue. You can do so by saying that you have nothing to add or you can choose to remove yourself from the person. It is good to have a strategy in mind or at least a way out, so it’s best to think and plan ahead for dealing with pesky questions from Uncle Tom or complaints by aunt Beth. The more difficulties you’ve had in the past, the more important it is to practice some scenarios through and plan on how to respond.
I wish you peace and wellness this holiday season.
Joyce
Interpersonal Wellness 